it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize