Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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