I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
