two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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