In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize