At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
