that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
