He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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