I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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