I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
