So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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