is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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