That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
