super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
