i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
