First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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