it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
