I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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