wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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