was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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