pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
