remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
