what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
