my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
