C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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