Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So many bounce houses so little time
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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