We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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