I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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