this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
