Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is classic penis vs brain.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
