I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
