Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
