Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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