Fuck appropriateness.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
