you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
