Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
