Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
