I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
