Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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