Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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