If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
