Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just made my gag reflex go away.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize