god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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