I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
