4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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