Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize