I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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