I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
