Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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