Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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