I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
