shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
be right there i have to get my cape
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize