i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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