So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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