I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
BRING THE BAGELS
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
