How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
