the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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