Non-Jews are for practice
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
