I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just cropdusted the office
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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